I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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