Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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