my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
