So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize