Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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