? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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