Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
