they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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