is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
