Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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