ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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