So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
