How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
