Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
