My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize