We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
