Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My balls are so social today.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
