I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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