i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
