Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(251): View more from Alabama

i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.

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(619): View more from California

I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth

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(353): View more from

I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing

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(630): View more from Illinois

last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.

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(916): View more from California

Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room

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(443): View more from Maryland

Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?

(1-443): View more from Maryland

A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.

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