I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize