It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
