I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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