Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
