try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
