just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize