Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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