so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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