i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
