I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
