i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
