I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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