the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am mentally ready for anal.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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