i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
