we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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