Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
