what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
