I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
