Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
