he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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