Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
