i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize