Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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