I can text with my tongue
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize