Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
