the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
