The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
