from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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