Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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