look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize