Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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