HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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