Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
