No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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