we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
