Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize