she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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