you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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