this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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