well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
