Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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