Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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