I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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