Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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