i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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